The Home of Love before Society

The cultural milieu around me is developing too much beyond my categorizations these days; it's difficult to say much of anything about different social groups. The variety of cultural distinctions even in the suburbs is striking to me. An ever-expanding media network provides a market of choices for different people. I would also say that it's a social phenomena demanding a new type of reflective Stoicism if we ever want to adjust to the changes.

While working on my grad applications at the Bread company a couple of days ago, I had the privilege of sitting next to a good ol' home-body group of suburban Pentecostals (and I think they were UPC). I never know what's going to come out of a devout charismatic's mouth, so I'm always on the edge of my seat in settings like these. To my surprise, I developed a certain affection for them, as they continued with their conversation on inward change and transformation. There are too many religious groups trying to focus on contemporary social issues, under the pretense that it's time to start moving "out" and getting things done. It's my opinion that it's the simple pull of the market on these young and ambitious minds. Our excuse is that we must adopt the language of our current market in order to function effectively. We have to situate ourselves in the ever-transforming amoebic wave of society to facilitate some change and movement. Yet, it is one of the last places for us to situate ourselves. In order to spout about the proper political policies which best exemplify our notion of love or whatever, our first responsibility is to return to the kitchen and dining room table. It's the same reason why Aristotle constructs his theoretical society on the functioning of proper friendships. Our souls must first be transformed at home with our closest ones. Our identities must be shaped here in conversation with loved ones, and if we do not choose this priority, our identities will be shaped by a more impersonal and abstract social institution. We can not get caught up in implementing contradictory notions of the most important and complex virtues we have brought with us only half-formed in that place we once called our home. Such is what happens when the conflicting advertisements in the market become our new home. This quote, by Hans Balthasaar, stood out to me tonight as I was reading about the complications of what we mean by "love": "the site from which love can be observed and generated cannot itself lie outside of love (in the '"pure logicity"' of so-called science); it can lie only there, where the matter itself lies–namely, in the drama of love." We are too often satisfied with these half-packaged notions of love under the pretense that "at least we are actually doing something for society" or "living out love". The reality is that we only hurt our society when we are encouraged with unreflective social activity. We must spend time at home before we become marketers. The quiet and reflective pace prevalent in our homes is where we identify the true substance and value of the love we so often seek to find, or even proof that such a concept exists between people. It is at the home and in closest friendships where love actually exists between two people, not between a seller and consumer. This is where the true drama of love is actually played out. It's a social context which provides people in close quarters, where arguments are forced to be confronted and conflicts are in a constant state of repair. This is where we find our most evident forms of love and affection. It is where we can universally identify that fleshed out example we all seek and so often struggle to discover.